~www.neilrollinson.com~

Christmas in Andalucía

I’m in the bath when you pop up,
between turkey and pudding,
for a drink with me: you with your g&t,
me with my vodka and coke.
It is dark in Surrey, while here
a late sun gleams in the olive groves.
Christmas in Andalucía:
the search for sunshine, the good life,
in a plush hotel - the mini-bar
stuffed with cheese, chorizo and olives,
a bottle of cava on ice. I have the laptop
on a stool at the side of the bath,
and you have yours at the end of your bed.
You look delicious in your new black bra,
far away in that cold stone house.
Beyond the dark window England
is covered in frost and moonlight.
Soon they’re calling you down for pudding,
cheese, and a good sweet wine, for games
around the fire. I ask you to take off your bra
before you go. I am full of loss and longing.
You slip the straps from your shoulders
and let it fall. The miles are meaningless.
You try to escape but can’t; the heart
is hewn from elm and oak and mistletoe.

From Talking Dead

( Time before and time after)
T.S. Eliot

The Wall

It was a day like any other
when they came for us.
This was the world we knew,
except the light was different:
the sky, the leaves, the distant sea.
We held hands as we walked,
and they walked behind us,
smoking cigarettes, talking
in hushed tones, embarrassed.
Only the colours troubled me,
the dandelions, how bright they were.
I hadn't noticed that before.
The world will carry on, you said,
but I wasn't sure. I had an intuition
that once I was gone
it was the end for everyone.
You gripped my hand as we came
to the wall. You were the one
true constant in everything.
The stone was warm, we could feel
the heat against our backs.
There was a scent of marjoram.
The sea was blue, and a single ferry
sailed out of the harbour.

Blackbird

A country lane, riding home
through a deep frost.
Like the headlong rush into sleep
it happened; the calm,
balletic movement
of a bike through the air.
The world was spinning madly.
When I came to rest,
I could feel the soft moss
against my cheeks. I was high above everything.
I could see the driver of the car
stare through the windscreen,
my torso laid on the road,
steaming in the headlights.
It was difficult to think.
I remember the beauty
of the solid world, the lights
of a distant city, stars in the sky,
all of it fading fast.
I thought: if I don't call now,
they'll never find my head up here.
I tried to shout but the blood
frothed in my mouth.
A blackbird was singing in my ear.

The Bed

I opened my mouth to breathe,
like I do in dreams,
and the water flowed into me.
I sank like a stone.
At first I thought it was pain;
it was just the beginning of bliss.
I could feel the buds in my throat
palpitate: the atavistic gills.
I saw the sand eel and tuna,
the plankton lifting in veils.
I breathed so deep I could taste
the salt and seaweed.
And I saw as I fell, the dark
hull of the ship above me,
it’s cold shadow. Things glittered
in the gloom like stars in the sky.
I saw dolphins, blue and green.
I was laid in the sand and the fish
came in thousands to pick me clean.
I loved the nights there,
the ultramarine, the moonlight,
the ghostly glow of the jelly fish
shifting like cloud above me.